How do you know when someone needs stitches?" When the laceration smiles at you and you can see the fatty tissue inside", that's what the PA said.
Last night, my oldest was climbing on the counter and his hand slipped and he slammed his chin on the counter. Yikes! The laceration wasn't big but, just wide enough to warrant a trip to the wonderful ER of CHOC (Children's Hospital of Orange County). Off we go with a 7 year old going ballistic in the back seat all the while yelling at Josh and I how much he hates us and how we're the worst mommy and daddy ever. Did I mention how much Cebastian hates doctors and anything to do with doctors, hostpitals, shots, or stitches, etc.
When he was 2 years old he got into my Tylenol and it took me and 4 nurses to hold him down while he was strapped into one of those papoose kiddie boards. Then, when he was almost 3 he got the stomach flu and we took him to CHOC for dehydration. Once again it took me, Josh, two nurses and the doctor to get an IV in his arm. Followed by last year when he fell out of his chair during lunch and ended up with 4 staples in his head to hold the gash closed. This boy has some serious adrenaline induced strength when he needs it.
When we pull up to the entrance and there are two young guys waiting to take our car and park it for us. How nice a hospital with valet parking? WOW! Who'd a thunk? Alright, we're thinking no wasting time and we'll be in and out in no time... We forcefully extract Cebastian from the car and drag him into the waiting room which, to our delight, didn't have too many people already waiting, after all it was only 10:15 pm on a Friday night. It wasn't even time yet for the partiers to be snockered enough to get into trouble. Things are looking good.
The security guard hands us a paper, I fill it out and hand it back. He tells us to take a seat and wait over there because we're next. Yes! Holy moly, we're on a roll! Five minutes later we're done with the first nurse and waiting at the next window. Another 5 minutes ticks by its our turn, yes! We're rockin' and rollin' now. The intake person is done in record time and we're off to waiting room 3.
Now after just breezing through the first two I'm thinking, "this is going to be cake, we'll be home before midnight! Yeah! It's an ER record in the making." WRONG! I felt like I was lost in an episode of Spongebob, where the narrator says... "Three hours later...", then, "2 months later...", and finally "500 years later...". We finally get called back to triage at about 1:15 am. I has hoping Cebastian would fall asleep after his enormous coniption fit on the way here, but, nope. He's still awake and begging us to take him home and really wanting me to tell him it just needs a butterfly bandage. I wish I could. It breaks my heart to tell him, "I don't know babe. We'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says, we've come this far and waiting so long, we may as well stick it out."
Wouldn't ya know, we were called in next. On to triage and another waiting room. About 20 minutes later we get our own room with a TV playing "cheaper by the dozen". Just lovely. There's more waiting involved with some more reassurances sprinkled here and there that we'll be out soon. The nurses come in with some numbing gel to be applied, more waiting, more numbing gel, more waiting, more numbing gel.
In walks the PA and a nurse. Alright, here we go... Now it's time to get down to the nitty gritty and get some stitches. Well that's what we thought anyway, but, nope that's not the case, the PA applies some glue, steri-strips, more glue, more steri-strips and then we're out and off to collect our car. It's now 3:00 am and we're exhausted, a little perturbed and starving. Well what else can we do but head to the only place open at this hour... Denny's!
Full of breakfast and coffee we head home to fall into bed and await the sunrise that will be making an appearance in about 3 hours. I was really looking forward to sleeping in late, but of course Dominic, our youngest who regularly sleeps in until 9 or 10 am, had other plans. Ah kids and the sweet joy of sleep deprivation. But, that's a story for another day...